The Grand Optimist

I consider myself to be an optimist. I think mostly because I want to believe in the good of this life. I want to believe in the best of people. I want to experience the good, give the good, set an individual up to succeed. We live in such a pessimistic world where everyone's out to put themselves on the top. Lately, I have found myself absorbing some of that pessimism. Adulthood is once again proving to be a little harder than expected. It's a constant balancing act. The good with bad, the hard with easy, the simple and the complicated. We hear the series of "do this and that, but no no, not that or this." How are we suppose to know what's right for us in the end? How do we see the forest when we re so thick in the underbrush? I have lived many of my days in a constant attempt to keep control of the events in my life. The last 6 humbling months have reminded me, I have no control. So here I am, trying to control how uncontrollable my life is. I guess I just figured that God and my faith would keep my life clean cut and easy. Well it's not that simple. The devil rules this earth and he does NOT make anything easy. Or clean cut. I feel like in light of all my enlightenement, I have discovered how messy I actually am. Since very young, my sense of worth has been off base. My identity was placed in my roles instead of my Lord. It might still be. It changes day to day. I guess all I can conclude is the black and white world I was raised in is way more grey than I ever imagined it could be. So as a grand optimist, I keep plugging along, knowing to expect the world's pessimism around the corner waiting for me. Thank God for His abounding grace because I don't know if I want to face it without the light at the end of the tunnel.

"He was the Grand Optimist, I'm the world's Poor Pessimist." 

         The Grand Optimist-CityandColour