Memories

Tonight, I got to see my lovely, wonderful Tonya!!!!!!!

Some of you might know this stellar gal, others, well let me inform you. She is one of my best friends from my nanny school days. She is one of the coolest, most fun gals I know. Her one flaw...she drinks coffee from a straw :) Bahaha. (inside joke!) Anyways, she is visiting an old friend with her friend, Dani and is in the Denver area for the weekend. Yay yay yay yay yay. It was so wonderful seeing her! I can't wait to hang with her more tomorrow.

Also, after catching up on the gossip of nanny school, T told me about a job posting in Africa. Of course, me being the dreamer that I am, I automatically placed myself in the situation. How incredible would that be?!?!?! I don't know many of the details yet other than its for a 6 month old girl in Kenya. Both parents are an American couple. The story itself just sounds incredibly intriguing. Brings me back to last year when I applied for the job in Puerto Rico. Ohhhh the what ifs. :)

What an awesome night of memories and good feelings. Gonna top it off with some chai tea and kettle corn. :) Life..is..good.

SCAM!

So...my dream car for a ridiculously affordable price was a scam. Haha.  Surprise, surprise. MAN! What were the chances? The thing that irked me the most was that the guy said he needed a quick sale because he was shipping off to Afghanistan in less than 2 weeks. Come on! You re gonna use the US military as an excuse to make a few bucks? Yeah...pretty low. Nevertheless, I will get my Jeep Wrangler.

Weekend is looking pretty good so far. I get to see my brother, Jake, sis Erin and niece Lydia tomorrow. Then in the evening I am going to see the Whiffenpoufs perform at Denver University. :) Awesome!


And I really want a dog...Like really REALLY bad...

Whooo Whoo!!! and Boo!!

Whoooooo! Whoooo!!
Boo! Boo! *mwha*

These are some of the words I have heard all day long. The best part? They are coming from a year old tot who has a toothy grin and big blue eyes. Dynalea is quite the entertainer. I am more proud that I taught her each one of these. I took her and Guinevere to the Firehouse down the road today. It was so much fun. The firefighters were so great with the girls and they did fantastic. Now that Dynalea can walk, its so much easier to take the girls out. Its wonderful to be able to just put her down and chase after her. To top off a good day, I got to enjoy a smorgasbord of yum-o Sushi! :) Yummmmmmy!

I also might have found a potential car...So prayers go up that it works out because that would be... A-wait for it...MAZING! AMAZING!!! 2001 Maroon Jeep Wrangler...Dream car.

Also I got to send flowers to someone who has been Gods gift on earth to me this past week...She's kind of awesome. :)

Hump day....PSH!  I'm over it.

Here We Go

I love school. I really never ever thought I would say this, but I truly love learning. Its one of those things that plays to the saying "Absence makes the heart grow founder." I have missed being in school a great deal. So far, I have only started one of my two classes. Intro to Statistics. I like it for many reasons. My teacher is young and super fun. She keeps things simple and reminds me of my high school math teacher who I completely loved. Secondly, I sit by this lady in maybe her mid 30s(?) and I just found out today she is a Christian. Clever, God. Real clever. :) And last but definitely not the least, I understand half the stuff I am learning! They say people who are good at math hate statistics, so I am hoping since I am horrible at math, I am gonna kick bootay at statistics.

Overall, this has been a great Monday. Good way to start the week. The girls have been great today and both of them are going through a really cute stage. Dynalea is just starting to talk and she is walking around everywhere. Guinevere is in a sweet stage (This week atleast... :) She and I have had a few full on laughing session due to something out of this world she would start talking about, which is a hard moment to beat. And probably the highlight of my day came just a few moments ago when I read my sisters blog. My Godson, Caleb is just starting to learn to pray. The faith of a child truly blows my very being. It is one of the most humbling experiences. Awesome.
I bid thee good day :)

Same Old Same

I get on my blog every day.
As I sign on, I try and think of something I could write about. Most days its, I could write about how bad this was or what I wish was different this way but then I end up saying, its the same old same and complaining about it isn't going to change it. So I usually see if my fellow bloggers have posted and then move on to something else mundane. I think my next big post will be about my dramatic break down. I am still trying to figure out what I want to do. I wish I had enough guts to pierce my nose, cause that would be cool. Or more so, I wish EVERYONE my age didn't have their nose pierced so it wouldn't be such a trend. I wish tattoos weren't lifetime permanent. And I wish I had the time off to fly to New Zealand to go cliff jumping. Any suggestions of something crazy I could do to release some pent up aggression?

And......there goes my sanity.

Funny how I was going to start writing about how I was losing my sanity before I decided to see if my sister had posted today. She did. What was her topic about? Sanity. It must be that time of year...or the full moon....or just this crazy thing we all call life.

I know myself enough to know this feeling I am beginning to get in the pit of my stomach. I have begun to allow myself to cry when I am alone, which means my emotions are reaching the brim. I have begun to think of traveling to the farthest place possible, which means I am over stressed. And I have become more impulsive the past few days. What does this all mean? Grace is on the verge of a breakdown and she knows it, so she will diffuse it by doing something dramatic. The key will be deciding what she will take out all her pent up aggression on. Last time it was her poor hair. What shall it be this time? Black fingernails? Should I pierce my nose? Get a tattoo? Go cliff jumping? Buy a car? Buy a one way ticket to Europe and become a bum?.....

Lord, send your angels to protect me for what is to come...

Honestly...

Honesty.

One of the hardest things to reason with, especially when we have to be honest with ourselves. So when we are honest with ourselves, do we make it better or worst? Since we know both sides, do we ignore it or take our own advice? Do we end up doing more damage trying to protect ourselves from the truth? Granted, it is situational, but how do we determine when honesty serves its best purpose? When we are honest with other people, doesn't it end up hurting them more times then not? Why can't we all just live in this bubble of rainbows and naivety? Funny how something that which is most key in any situation is the hardest to deal with. So I gotta be honest with you....the truth doesn't set you free. It just sucks.

8 years later, You are still teaching me...

I was in 6th grade P.E. class

We were doing some sort of tumbling class. I was as awkward as any pubescent 6th grader could be.
Mrs. Wenke, the 2-3rd grade teacher, also my neighbor, pulled the gym door open and pointed towards me. I thought she was pointing to my classmate, Jared in front of me. Some days I really wish she had wanted Jared.. I remember walking across the gym with a million thoughts racing through my head. Was it Luke? Was I in trouble? Did Grandma schedule my doctor's appt. for today?
I looked up at in her with all the questions in my eyes. She just said, "Your dad is on the phone." I began to run down the hall to the office where I see my principal, Mrs. Schardt and one of my teachers, Mrs. Vanderoff sitting there while Isaac is on the office telephone. He is emotionless as he hands me the phone and says, "Its Dad." My thoughts begin racing, "Are they coming home?" "Luke is gonna be ok?" "Is he sick again?" I remember my hands and voice shaking as I said, "Dad?" I immediately hear a husky, "Gracie. I'm so sorry." And then I hear my mother in the back. As the tears came and my heart fell,  I knew. As he began to explain things, it was all kind of a blur, I just kept picturing my brothers face as I left the hospital room, 2 months earlier. The look he gave me made sense now. It was as if he knew that would be the last time we saw each other. It was so peaceful and spoke all the words we couldn't say nor those we didn't understand.
As I gave the phone back I remember Isaac giving me a brief hug as I curled up next to Mrs. Vanderoff and cried. Time seemed to pass as teachers came in and out. I remember watching my class pass by the office door coming back from P.E. Grandma Koller came to pick us up after what seemed like an eternity. After that...it all blends together as some sort of dream.
To this very day, eight years later that look Luke gave me gets me through some of my toughest issues. His death continues to teach me new lessons every day. Not a day goes by that I don't remember his contagious laughter. I can't see root beer or gummi worms without smiling. And I feel as if God gives me a piece of him every day that I see the group of deer that live in my back yard. I love you big brother.

2011-You Are More

2011 is going to be a year that will change everything. I am not my own. I am more than my daily circumstances and I can conquer anything through Christ. Lord give me the strength to press on towards the goal.
 ^{Romans 8:31-39
31} What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. ³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:
   “For your sake we face death all day long;
   we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[j]
 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8&version=NIV)


Tenth Avenue North

"You Are More"

There's a girl in the corner
With tear stains on her eyes
From the places she's wandered
And the shame she can't hide

She says, "How did I get here?
I'm not who I once was.
And I'm crippled by the fear
That I've fallen too far to love"

But don't you know who you are,
What's been done for you?
Yeah don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

Well she tries to believe it
That she's been given new life
But she can't shake the feeling
That it's not true tonight

She knows all the answers
And she's rehearsed all the lines
And so she'll try to do better
But then she's too weak to try

But don't you know who you are?

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

'Cause this is not about what you've done,
But what's been done for you.
This is not about where you've been,
But where your brokenness brings you to

This is not about what you feel,
But what He felt to forgive you,
And what He felt to make you loved.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You are more than the choices that you've made,
You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,
You are more than the problems you create,
You've been remade.

You've been remade
You've been remade.
You've been remade.
You've been remade.