I was in 6th grade P.E. class
We were doing some sort of tumbling class. I was as awkward as any pubescent 6th grader could be.
Mrs. Wenke, the 2-3rd grade teacher, also my neighbor, pulled the gym door open and pointed towards me. I thought she was pointing to my classmate, Jared in front of me. Some days I really wish she had wanted Jared.. I remember walking across the gym with a million thoughts racing through my head. Was it Luke? Was I in trouble? Did Grandma schedule my doctor's appt. for today?
I looked up at in her with all the questions in my eyes. She just said, "Your dad is on the phone." I began to run down the hall to the office where I see my principal, Mrs. Schardt and one of my teachers, Mrs. Vanderoff sitting there while Isaac is on the office telephone. He is emotionless as he hands me the phone and says, "Its Dad." My thoughts begin racing, "Are they coming home?" "Luke is gonna be ok?" "Is he sick again?" I remember my hands and voice shaking as I said, "Dad?" I immediately hear a husky, "Gracie. I'm so sorry." And then I hear my mother in the back. As the tears came and my heart fell, I knew. As he began to explain things, it was all kind of a blur, I just kept picturing my brothers face as I left the hospital room, 2 months earlier. The look he gave me made sense now. It was as if he knew that would be the last time we saw each other. It was so peaceful and spoke all the words we couldn't say nor those we didn't understand.
As I gave the phone back I remember Isaac giving me a brief hug as I curled up next to Mrs. Vanderoff and cried. Time seemed to pass as teachers came in and out. I remember watching my class pass by the office door coming back from P.E. Grandma Koller came to pick us up after what seemed like an eternity. After that...it all blends together as some sort of dream.
To this very day, eight years later that look Luke gave me gets me through some of my toughest issues. His death continues to teach me new lessons every day. Not a day goes by that I don't remember his contagious laughter. I can't see root beer or gummi worms without smiling. And I feel as if God gives me a piece of him every day that I see the group of deer that live in my back yard. I love you big brother.
Grace, I never realized you were at school when you got Dad's call...funny how we all had such different experiences even though it was the same event. I know what you mean about the look - similar thing when I was there to see him the last time. But it's comforting that he was okay with everything and that he wanted all of us to be okay too. And we are and so is he. Love you sis!
ReplyDeleteI, oddly, did not know you and Isaac were at school either. Would be interested to hear how Isaac remembers that moment. I try so hard to remember him well, but it's awful hard today.
ReplyDeleteLove you both!
I didn't realize today was the anniversary of his going to be with his Lord. A boy could not have asked for a more devoted family and his time on this earth was always one of care and affection. A lot of people go their whole lives searching for what Luke could always be certain of. All my love to you & your family.
ReplyDeleteIm sure I knew but never remembered where you were when you and Isaac got the news. Thanks for reminding me. You know the first time when we brought him home to die he said the hardest part was that it would make all the people he loved sad. He also told me he believed he kept fighting because there was always someone coming into the room and loving him. I dont want to remember that morning.....not now or ever, ever, ever.
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