The Perfect Storm

I am not one to normally shy away. Fear is not something I have dealt with often in my life. Growing up, I was taught not to be fearful of anything because God controls everything. If someone asked me what I was afraid of, I would find it difficult to cough up an answer. So why am I hiding? I am hiding behind my present. I am presently in a bubble that is full of happy go lucky times and a land of plenty. My bubble is full of all the things I selfishly desire. Good friends, family nearby, city, culture, good food and great memories. I am hiding because there is a stirring in my heart. I crouch behind my present day to day because I can see the storm in my future that is going to rock my entire world and turn me upside down. It doesn't scare me in a way that I would turn the other way and run, but in a way that I fear my strength. I fear my ability to accomplish what God is going to lay out for me. I fear my ability to be His tool and to completely empty myself and be filled with Him. I stand on the edge pushing myself to jump but feeling the churns of my stomach and doubting whether I will hit the rocks. The time to jump is coming. I feel it in my heart and soul. This brings a million and one thoughts and emotions to the brim of my very being. This is my day to day. We all have to deal with our emotions and thoughts as they come and go. The reality of it though is none of that matters. It isn't about us. It never has been. It is about Christ. It is about letting Him light that fire within your soul placed there by the Holy Spirit. You..Me... We have done nothing. He has done and will do everything. We only have to surrender ourselves. The power struggle that goes into that is one that won't be done with ease, but it will be done. There is a stirring.... and the storm is on its way.