Buying My Time

Goodness. Where to begin. I guess it's just due time for one of my meltdowns in the constant limbo of life. I have been living with my sister in law and nieces for over 2 months now. I love it. It brings me copious amounts of joy. My nieces are such great girls and I am so blessed to have them in my life. I have been officially dubbed my sister in law's "wife" until my brother returns in July. I recently was texting my old roommate and one of the things we love to talk about is food we ve cooked lately. As I was going through some of the menu items I had made recently, she quickly responds with a "Who are you?" I laughed and said "Honestly, Im a housewife." I have never felt exceptionally good at anything in my life. I say that in blunt honesty. I don't do anything really well. I'm not musically inclined, good with numbers, artistic or athletic. There is only one thing I do even close to well, and that is being a house wife. I am thriving right now in such a setting. Staying home with my niece and doing all things needed to run a household is my element. It's great and I love it. I am really good at taking care of other people and managing their lives. I can't help but get sad sometimes because as great as it is, it's not mine. This beautiful life I am currently "babysitting" is not my own. At the end of the day, I still crawl into my bed and remember I am alone. And I know in my heart that I am growing and learning and my life is in Gods timing. I guess what I am saying is don't let me fool you, I have nothing figured out. I am just buying my time until I can begin my own life.